“The Death of Black Wallstreet”: The 1921 race attacks in Tulsa Oklahoma

 

A Privately owned bus line

2 movie theaters

2 newspapers 

21 churches

21 restaurants

30 grocery stores

a hospital

6 private planes

                  Looking at that list, it’s impressive for a modern town to boast these types of amenities, let alone a community in the early 1900s, and what makes it even more impressive it was a black community. You may be wondering where this was and why haven’t you heard of it before. All this splendor was encompassed within a 35-block radius of Tulsa Oklahoma that was nicknamed “Little Africa” or “Black Wall Street.” The main thoroughfare was Greenwood Ave, and Archer and Pine Streets intersected it. From the First letters in each of those names you get G.A.P., and that’s where the renowned R&B music group the GAP Band got its name . There have been other cities that carried the moniker of “Black Wall Street” (parts of Durham North Carolina) but what made this area more impressive was the high level of prosperity and pride that each person of the community carried.

The businesses of Black Wall Street in its heyday [Image source: America in Color: The 1920s, Smithsonian]

  

The mainstay of the community was to educate every child. Nepotism was the one word they believed in.

Today education is an afterthought or nuisance in the journey of  becoming an instant celebrity or professional athlete. Creating a place-setting at the corporate table for those who look like you is almost non-existence due to the “crabs in a barrel” mentality and fear of losing your “piece of the pie” by helping someone else obtain theirs.

The dollar circulated 36 to 100 times, sometimes taking a year for currency to leave the community

Compare this to the fact that the dollar now leaves the black community in 15 minutes. While the spending power of current Black America is far larger than it was during that era, the monetary influence in the community pales in comparison.

In doing my research, I began to wonder blacks in this community were able to acquire the wealth to build this type of paradise in the midst of racial bigotry. Its was one thing to own land, but blacks having ownership of six private planes when the state of Oklahoma only had two airports at the time was very impressive. The state of Oklahoma was initially designated as being a black and Native American state and there were 28 black townships in the area and  through the inter-marrying of the Native Americans, some blacks were able to acquire their “fabled” 40 acres and a mule and many times that included oil. Because of Jim Crow laws, these growing communities were forced to pass the dollar from one hand to another which was the jump-start of creating independent wealth and word spread nationally that this was the place to be for blacks.This area also served as a hub for blacks in neighboring towns who had been forced to travel great distances for shopping and entertainment due to segregation laws in their own area.

However this all began to change on May 31st when a black male by the name of Dick Rowland was accused of sexually attacking a woman after he stumbled into her while entering an elevator. The primary instigator in fueling the rage of the racist whites in the community was the local newspaper, the Tulsa Tribune. They nicknamed the accused “Diamond Dick” and portrayed the victim as an orphan that had visible wounds and clothes were torn, when actuality she had deserted her husband in Kansas City and didn’t have a scratch on her. In addition to this article there is a reported editorial that encouraged the whites of the community to come together and lynch the young 19-year-old black male.

(This was the beginning of lack of media integrity)

While he was taken into custody he was never formally charged with a crime but during that era of thick racial hate, a black person didn’t have to commit a crime for him to be considered next on the lynch mob’s list.

• It was not against the law for a white man to kill a black man.
• Groups of white men could take a black male out of police custody with the intention of killing him. 
• Just months earlier a man had been lynched and the crowd was given a police escort during the act.
• Two black people a week were being lynched in AMERICA during this period.

With the black community realizing that Rowland stood no chance of surviving the plot of the vigilante mob, they developed their own protection group and headed towards the courthouse where he was being held. In the subsequent confrontation between the whites and blacks at the courthouse and a stray gunshot was fired thus triggering one of the most heinous events to take place in America that has never been really discussed.

In order to “protect” themselves the city deputized over 500 white men, many of which were members of the Klu Klux Klan, and gave them the right to shoot any “nigger” on sight. Another part of the strategy involved deploying airplanes to drop turpentine bombs while residents slept and upon fleeing their homes, the onlooking white army met them with a barrage of bullets from various locations. Communication outside of Tulsa was cut off; phone and telegraph lines destroyed and even the railroad was blockaded so that no one could leave the area nor get in to find  out what was really going on in the city at the time. Now if this wasn’t systematic race eradication, I don’t know what is.

A victim of the Tulsa race riot lays on the back of a flat bed truck outside Convention Hall as a white man with a shotgun stands on the truck.

In the aftermath of the bombing and shooting, the whites ransacked these once luxurious homes taking anything they could find of value, with many being becoming enraged at the fact that “niggers” had nicer things than they did. The estimated property loss reached above $2.3 million. The speculated death toll of black lives lost was in the hundreds. White vigilantes arrested thousands of blacks and held them for no apparent reasons and  approximately 4,300 blacks were left homeless and robbed of all their valuables. There were a few who escaped capturing by running for the hills or hiding under the beds in homes that had survived the air attack and the firebombs from the mobs who raided the neighborhoods on foot. Ironically some of the blacks, who worked as servants and maids, had their lives spared out of the goodness (sarcasm) of their white employers heart by having them hide in the attics or basements. God forbid that all the blacks would be killed in the community and they would have to do their own housework.

Just like word spread nationally of the financial growth in this area, I can only imagine the country’s reaction to the destruction and the realization that even this piece of black prosperity was not above being attacked by destructive mindset called Racism. After the riots destroyed Greenwood, businesses were rebuilt, churches and schools reestablished and homes reconstructed; however, Greenwood never regained its prominence as a Black Wall Street.

While it was frustrating doing the research for this blog, I knew it was something that had to be discussed. I first have to thank my dad for even talking about what happened for if it weren’t for my father talking about it while he was in town for the 4th of July, I would have never known about the good nor the bad of the Greenwood community in Tulsa Oklahoma. I know there are plenty others like me who aren’t aware of this part of American history, not just black history, so I figured why not bring more awareness to what we had and hopefully it sparks a debate of what we are capable of having if we just come together.

Also here is the link to the Greenwood Cultural Center in Tulsa Oklahoma

http://www.greenwoodculturalcenter.com/

Will work for food…spiritual food that is

I haven’t written in a while, and really am not sure why not. I constantly have blog topics but I think lately I had become frustrated with the lack of tangible recognition from me writing. I know some people visit here out of support as friends/close acquaintances but I it seemed as if wasn’t generating any new followers or if I were my stuff wasn’t intriguing enough for people to comment.

Today it hit me after reading the most current post from a blogger that I have always admired from afar @dcdistrictdiva and found comfort in seeing her talk about her experience of being in the city of Paris in her blog Truly, God is in Paris ,I realized that you may never know who is in need of inspiration or a comforting word, and I can’t worry about the number of views or amount of comments that come from my personal expressions. As with being a good person, you may not always get the pat on the back or the celebratory good job award; rest assured that there is someone out there that is now feeling better about their situation because you took the time to be transparent about the things that are happening in your life.  God has given us all light to shine in dark places and it does no one any good if you refuse to push the power button to ignite it. And I use that analogy specifically because it speaks to another twitter conversation I saw on @terracarissa timeline. Yes we all pray/wish/hope for things but at some point you must do something as well. “Faith without works is dead” (James 2:26) and to take it further, a man that does not work does not eat (2 Thessalonians 3:10)… and eating for many is being able to taste prosperity, joy, happiness, success in life. I know for so long I was that person that prayed to God for things but forgot one key component and that was to act on the opportunities He presented.

Even in writing this I am having my Oprah “ah ha” moment and there is an awakening within to write this (even while in the middle of the work day) and maybe my proverbial “work” could be in my writing and being more consistent in it and maybe then some of my own prayers will MANIFEST because they have already been answered, I just haven’t seen them how God needs me to.

Movie Review: Red Tails

You make a decision to defend your country in an era where many in your country would not fight for you. You go above and beyond to prepare yourself educationally and in training but still are told you aren’t good enough. You are excited to be selected to go overseas only to be regulated to “mop up” duty because those in charge still question your ability to do your job in a quality standard. But still you continue to fight and fight and once given an opportunity to show what you are capable of, you exceed every expectation earning the respect of your fellow serviceman along the way. Welcome to the world of a Tuskegee Airman!!!

Thanks to Black in the Bay I was able to take part in the advance screening of Lucasfilm’s Movie “Red Tails”, a story based on true events about the famous Tuskegee Airmen combat pilots of World War II.

I decided not to look up the trailer because I wanted to see the film without any preconceived notions. The only confirmed actors that I was aware of in the movie were Cuba Gooding Jr. and Terrence Howard who was dubbed the star actors, and while they took the headlines, they were not the only stars of the movie. The primary characters were Martin “Easy” Julian played by Nate Parker (The Great Debaters, The Secret Lives of Bees), Joe “Lightening” Little played by David Oyelowo and Ray “Junior/Ray Gun” Gannon played by Tristen Wilds (The Wire, Secret Lives of Bees) were Ne-yo, Method Man, and Marcus Paulk (Moesha, Roll Bounce)

The focal characters were Easy, Lightening, and Junior and throughout the movie we are given insight to their lives and challenges faced beyond the racial tension with fellow American soldiers and the fight in the sky with the Germans. Writer John Ridley (Three Kings) did an excellent job of allowing the viewer to peek in the window to get a glimpse of what black soldiers dealt with when not in combat. I have always had the utmost respect for everyone during that time period because our ancestors always had to fight two battles: the natural obstacles that come with being successful in any field of endeavor while being in a bitter racial climate.

I recommend this movie to anyone who is a history buff because it told a side of a story that still few of us have gotten to see.

“Politics is the art of postponing a decision until it is no longer relevant”

http://www.redtail.org (a great website where you can find more information about these heroic men)

Quest for the Concords…

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to everyone… The Christmas holiday season is a time where many people purchase gifts for loved ones and sometimes even themselves. According to the National Retail Foundation, it is said that Americans will spend an upwards of 465.5 billion dollars in 2011 shopping which is a 2.8% increase from last year. On December 23, 2011 millions of people not only across the nation but the world reveled in  the release of the Iconic  Air Jordan XI shoe known to sneakerheads as the “Concords.” The past three years Jordan Brand has previously released other colors of this same style shoe; the “Cool Gray” and the “Space Jam,” and while there was anticipation for the release of those shoes, neither compared to the release of the Concords. The release date of the shoe has been known since the summer, and shortly after many of those who desired to purchase the shoe began to plot on their approach for acquiring them. Generally, there are two ways shoes are purchased; by going to the local retailer to purchase them or visiting the website of the same retailers so as to avoid the hassle. Under normal circumstances, there wouldn’t be a problem for someone to use either of these outlets to purchase their shoes and be safe. However when it comes to limited or popular releases like the Concord shoe (and Jordans are not the only shoes people camp out for), many knew they would have to be very strategic to get them.

Once I caught wind of the release I made up in my mind that these would be my Christmas gift to myself. The $180 sticker price, while high to a lot of people, is not that far off from other popular shoes like the Foamposits ($200+) the LeBron’s ($170) and Kobe Bryant ($180). Yes there are plenty other brands and styles of gym shoes/sneakers that are less expensive but ask a female that has a REAL Louis Vuitton, Gucci or Tory Burch purse would a less costly purse had been sufficient, and they probably would say yes but it’s about the brand. I have heard many people take issue with spending that much for a pair of shoes but I look at some of the shoes I have in my collection, which include a pair of Air Jordan XI in a different color that I have had since 2001 that are in still good condition, so if you take care of them they can and will last a long time. Now I am against purchasing these shoes for young children who have yet to develop an appreciation for clothing but to each his/her own.

Blacks werent the only ones camping out for them

But back to my quest for the Concords, I initially thought about trying the “order online” route but I recalled the horror stories that many of my sneakerhead friends discussed in regards to ordering shoes that were just as popular online. From the website crashing and not allowing you to purchase, to you making the purchase but getting an email from the website stating that the order never went through. So I decided to try the campout route, where I would go to a local mall and sit outside until they opened the doors. Little did I know, the mall security had given out tickets to those interested in purchasing the shoes earlier that day, around the same time I had gone to the mall to scope out the scene and talk to a couple of guys that work in the shoe stores I frequent. So when I got back to the mall around 11pm for the Midnight release, there was a nice crowd of around 50-75 people already huddled around. I assumed that Footlocker would have an ample amount to satisfy this crowd so I was not worried. However right as the clock struck 12AM the dropped the ticket bomb on a lot of us and I began to get nervous. But after hearing that they only gave out 40 tickets, and me being close to the door, I became confident in being able to get them… SIKE… shortly after letting the 40 ticket holders get their shoes they pulled down the gate and sent many of us home empty-handed. The next morning I tried another store but had my hopes crushed again because this retailer, who was a privately owned store, sold many of their allotment of shoes during the previous two weeks so I trudged home disappointed.

Now many are probably asking why would I go through all of this for a pair of shoes… Simply put because this was an item I really wanted. When it comes to things we want we will subject ourselves to things that to other people deem over the top. Some women will sit in a salon for hours for hairstyles that last only a couple of days then do it again in a couple of weeks which in the grand scheme equates purchasing these same “overpriced” shoes monthly. I also know people who will sit outside in line for Black Friday sales, stood in lines longer and under worse conditions to get tickets for concerts and we all  have seen images of college students who will miss class to eat sleep and chill in tents just to get access to tickets for bowl games or premium seats versus a heated rival. During my college days I will admit to having “camped-out” for the PS2 and actually missed a quiz but luckily begged my professor to let me retake it. I also stood in line for concerts and will never forget the frenzy behind the Kappa Thanksgiving Party at St. Andrews where if you weren’t in line at 9pm for a party that really didn’t get hype until 11pm you didn’t get in.

Fans of the Group Panic attack

Texas A&M fans camping for Cotton bowl tickets

I wonder what Best Buy had on sale?

Upon getting over my disappointment I got home to find out about the craziness that ensued throughout the nation. Recounts of pandemonium, fights, and robberies were littered all over the internet and on the news (it even made ESPN.) Someone went as far as to create a fake death of a young teenager in the DC/Maryland area.

someone has too much time on their hands

While the drama that took place in many urban areas across the nation is unfortunate, please do not be blinded by the BS that is being perpetuated here. It’s ironic that any other time we take Fox News with a grain of salt especially it comes to politics, but with this story their perceptions are legit. Also now that there is evidence that the death in DC is a hoax, I haven’t seen ANY media outlet update the story or send a retraction for covering something that was false. It’s shameful that the media knows how divided we as a black community are and will use it against us. Violence during Black Friday shopping isn’t given this much coverage because white America doesn’t care, but they realize that since much of our social acceptance is tied to our stuff and things they know it will be a heated topic of conversation where many will never understand the person on the other side of the argument.

I have seen it all in regards to jokes & comments about those who have purchased the Concords, and yes I’ll agree that if your bills aren’t paid and you skimping out on other responsibilities as an adult, you shouldn’t be able to partake of any luxuries but that goes beyond purchasing sneakers/gym shoes. But changing this mindset of having the latest toy and “keep up with the Jones” goes way beyond what is happening now. Just like we are pre-disposed to health issues because of genetics, we also acquire mentalities and thought-processes from the DNA of our parents and ancestors. Many believe this “gotta ball” mentality is something new but it’s not, I believe we can trace these desires back to when we were African kings and queens. Look at historical accounts of how our ancestors cherished stuff and things, C’mon, they had extravagant tombs and pyramids constructed for the “ballers” of their times. Even look at present-day African tribes, while they may not use a Benz or extravagant homes to show status they have their own unique way of showing who is the top of the heap, whether its colorful face paint or necklaces. So we first must realize this ball out mindset and how you treat money did not just recently evolve so you may need to sit down with your parents and even grandparents to see how they spent their money and compare habits to really see how much of a curse this is. I am currently doing an 18-week financial stewardship class through my church and we are using the book Jesus on Money by Larry Burkett;  it has helped all of us in the class face issues head on so that our bad financial habits aren’t transferred to our children or grandchildren.

So while all of this started as a quest for a pair of shoes, it has opened my eyes to so much more, and while I still wish I had gotten them I’m glad for the life lessons the journey taught me.

No Dad= No Leadership= Unsuccessful NFL QB ???

Sports journalist tend to push the envelope when it comes to controversial topics, and it seems that the recent hot topic story in the NFL is the success of quarterback Tim Tebow of the Denver Broncos. Just from observing the internet there are two sides; either you hate it or love the story that has developed from what he has done after replacing Kyle Orton at quarterback. For me in sports the ultimate goal is to win game and that is what he is doing, regardless of how good he looks doing it. There have been plenty of former quarterbacks who looked the part of being a quintessential quarterback but the end results didn’t match the look. In addition to his antics on the field; the awkward throwing motion, the forced adaptation of the read-option as a staple in the bronco playbook to the invention of a celebration craze called “Tebow-ing”, people have taken shots at him being open and honest in discussing his spirituality (which I applaud and wish more religious people did.) However the most outrageous hot topic story is the one written by Fox-Sports journalist Jason Whitlock, in which he says that Tebow’s success as a quarterback can directly be attributed to being raised in a dual parent household.

“Tebow’s performance on the football field is testament to Bob and Pam Tebow and what they instilled in their youngest child…”

Whitlock later goes on to call out two quarterbacks who have spent a significant amount of time on the roller-coaster of being being a NFL quarterback, they also happen to be black while Tebow is white:

“…At this moment, no one knows whether the Tebow experiment Elway and Fox have been pressured into undertaking will result in anything more sustainable than Tennessee’s Vince Young experience or Atlanta’s Michael Vick roller coaster.

What should be dawning on us — especially those of us who greeted Tebow’s Broncos career with skepticism — is that, thanks to a rock-solid, two-parent upbringing, Tebow is quite different from Young and Vick in terms of mental and emotional makeup. Those differences raise the real possibility that Tebow is the athletic-freak quarterback an NFL franchise should embrace with a revolutionary offensive approach…

NFL quarterback is a 24/7-365-day job that Vick and Young were unprepared for coming out of college. NFL quarterback is a position best played by young men who were raised by strong fathers. Quarterback is the ultimate leadership position. You have to be taught how to lead. You have to be taught how to prepare.

Vick and Young, athletic freaks on par with Tebow, do not have Tebow’s nuclear-family foundation. Vick and Young entered the league emotionally immature and with a set of values inconsistent with the values that lead to consistent, strong QB play. You can wing it in college and get by on sheer athleticism and talent. You can’t do that at the quarterback position in the NFL…”

This has to be one of the most ridiculous correlations ever made by someone claiming to know sports. First of all there we still do not know if Tebow will be successful as a NFL quarterback because ironically the two examples he used to try to prove his baseless theory had successful seasons as rookies. We all realize that in the black community the percentages of dual parent households are dismal and even lower once you consider professional athletes, so if Whitlock wanted to make a more credible argument why not find a white quarterback that struggled because of no in-house father figure to base his argument on.

Is he saying that if Cliff Huxtable wasn’t an in-home dad, Theo wouldnt have had the leadership qualities needed graduated from college and would have been subjected to a life of spending monopoly money to survive?

Yes its true Michael Vick and Vince Young have struggled in their careers, but can we truly attribute that to the fact that their dad was not in their home when they were growing up? I will agree that the position of quarterback is the ultimate leadership position in sports, but who is Whitlock to say that the only way you learn how to lead is through an in-home dad. There should be plenty of outraged mothers, grandparents, coaches, and mentors out there in society, because I guess the foundation they laid meant nothing and only “dear old dad” can be the one cultivate your ability to lead on the football field and in life. In being critical of men being able to effectively lead without dad present, I guess Whitlock overlooked perhaps the most important leadership position in the world, President of United State. Current US President Barack Obama shattered every misconception that Whitlock used during his journey to be the 44^th president. While being a NFL quarterback is high pressure, even Whitlock will agree that being the President of the United States requires a lot more responsibility than being a professional athlete and if President Obama could ascend to that level of leadership without dad being there I am confident a quarterback could as well.

One must also consider the flipside of the conversation, while perhaps Tim Tebow success can be attributed to dual parent household playing an active role in his life; there have been plenty of NFL quarterbacks who had their dad in their homes and for a better usage of words still SUCKED!!! ESPN’s most recent “30 for 30” series documents the tumultuous rise and fall of super prep and former LA Raider quarterback Todd Marinovich. Todd’s father, Marv Marinovich, was a mad scientist when it came to trying to develop his son into this “Robo QB” subjecting his young son to quirky exercises and training processes that back in the 80’s was thought as being over the top.  During the documentary, Marinovich recounted the moment he made it as a NFL quarterback; he felt that his whole life as an athlete was for this moment and once it happened, he realized he had made his dad proud and there was nothing else left to play for. Unfortunately being under the pressure that had first been applied by his dad, Marinovich’s NFL career ended just two years into existence and he subsequently fell victim to a life of drugs and run-ins with the law, lifestyle choices that even the most protective dad, as Marv was, couldn’t save him from.

So yes, in an ideal situation we would want the NFL to be full of players, especially black quarterbacks, who were privileged enough to be raised in homes with their dads playing an ACTIVE and positive role, and while today it is a rare occurrence we still must not give men in society a reason to bitch and complain and not achieve at the highest level in their respective endeavor, it just may mean that they have to do a little more than their counterpart who had all the resources.

On Saturday there was another quarterback inducted into the Heisman brotherhood Robert Griffin III. He is a product of a two parent household, and could  be the next one to prove Jason Whitlocks flawed theory correct, but before I send him an apology and a bouquet of flowers, he must remember there will always been exceptions to the rules, ask Redskin fans about Heath Schuler!

Be strong… Be VERY strong…

             For the past couple weeks I have been on my “Tiggalo ish”, for those who may not understand what that means, Tiggalo is the alias/alter-ego for Hip Hop Renaissance Entertainer Phonte (1/3 of the rap group Little Brother and crooner for R&B super-group Foreign Exchange), who happens to be one of my new favorite musical entertainers. After finally getting a chance to download his recent release, a solo album dubbed “Charity Starts at Home,” I gave the album a quick listen but there was a song that I had to go back to “Sendin my Love.” On this track, he really gets personal in the struggles that many men and matter of fact people in general struggle with daily “Life Choices.” For him the choice battle surfaced when he allowed a woman from his past to conjure up feelings of lust and temptation, hence my initially mentioning the men. We all have vices
that lure us and tempt us but in the end we have the ultimate choice to make, to do right or do wrong. There are guys out there that will argue that it’s not in them to be with one woman or be faithful but I call BS on that, just like you choose to get up every day and go to work, or choose not to rob/steal/kill,
the choice of doing right by your significant other carries the same weight. We ALL get faced with the option of falling for the“furry temptress” but it boils down to what really matters to you… I can hear some of my guy readers saying that “I have drama at home” or “I’m not appreciated” and that may be so but at the end of the day you still have a choice. Part of what made the temptation so much greater in the Phonte song was because he was having issues with his significant other, but as with most things in life the Devil looks for entrance ways to cause strife and mess in even the happiest circumstance.

Here are some ways you can avoid falling:

Surround yourself with positive men who will keep it 100 with you:

There is nothing worse than you battling a  temptation issue and your boys are encouraging you to cheat or giving you  avenues to do so. At this stage of life your boys/friends/frat brothers should  be doing things to build you up no break you down. If all you have around you  are people who encourage that negative behavior then it may be time to change your circle. And if you are one of these guys who are encouraging your boy to act up GTHOH, time to grow up and leave the juvenile games of “chase the cat” back in the bachelor days, your friendship should mean enough to the point where you don’t want to see him jack up his life.

See beyond the “moment”:

You can’t give in simply because you got a hard on, wifey tripping and a blast from the past is pushing up on you. As science says the blood the fuels the erection comes from your brain, thus reducing your ability to think logically. You have to ask yourself is that momentary “release” with this fling worth jeopardizing all you  claim you love and worked so hard to build. Whether you are married or single,  you being in a relationship took some investing in and are you really willing  to lose that for a chick that you won’t want to deal with the next day.

Communicate with your significant other:

A lot of men say that they look elsewhere  because there is a disconnect with their significant other. But how often have  you tried to bring things back together is the key question. In my own  experience I’ve learned that things have fallen off simply because the guy saw  it one way and his significant other saw it differently. But keep this theory  in mind in the conversation “when she’s wrong she’s RIGHT and even when you’re right you’re wrong”

Avoid tempting situations when having relationship issues:

We all will have relationship disagreements  but there is nothing worse than having one and then putting yourself in a  situation to be tempted. More often you will let your anger/frustration in the  relationship diminish your common sense and allow yourself to be put in  compromising situations that you then try to justify. So calling your boys up and running to the club (strip or dance) may not be the best idea if you just go into it with your girl. Even if you dont necessarily want to be around your girl, go somewhere that you know is a safe haven like the driving range, a cigar bar or the gym… on second thought maybe not the gym considering what some of these ladies wear to work out nowadays.

Walk away:

If you are constantly fighting temptation and even giving in to it, it may be time to call that relationship a wrap. Yes we know that can be easier said than done but I guarantee that your girl will  appreciate you a lot more if you end it that way than her having to find out  via Facebook, email, text or in person. If you are married with kids and in this situation you have to look at whats best for the kids because once you had them it no longer became about you, their welfare/safety/protection SHOULD have become priority #1 but considering you thinking about doing a selfish act of cheating, I may have to reconsider if you are thinking of anyone but yourself at this point.

Shoot you may even have to do like Phonte and  talk yourself out of it. There is a point in the “story” of the song  where he has a decision to make; either go with his ex or go home to his wife and we find him repeating to  himself “Tiggalo be strong, be VERY strong…” While it may seem silly to have to  mentally talk your way through the situation, you are distracting yourself from the temptation, allowing the lust to subside and perhaps even laughing at
yourself because you feel silly for having to talk to yourself but by that time the moment has passed and you are back to thinking clearly.

So the next time you are  faced with that tempting moment talk it out, even if it is to yourself, and  long as you don’t answer yourself you won’t seem crazy and by the time the one-sided conversation ends,  you will have built  up some confidence in knowing you can fight off this temptation and take it on home…

I was able to find the audio on YouTube, so take a listen for yourself and while you are at it just  go out and buy this man CD… #QUALITYMUSIC

Proud of you… Thank you Mom

 

MOTHER TO SON

Well, son, I’ll tell you:
Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
It’s had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor—
Bare.
But all the time
I’se been a-climbin’ on,
And reachin’ landin’s,
And turnin’ corners,
And sometimes goin’ in the dark
Where there ain’t been no light.
So, boy, don’t you turn back.
Don’t you set down on the steps.
‘Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.
Don’t you fall now—
For I’se still goin’, honey,
I’se still climbin’,
And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair

-Langston Hughes

The mother to son relationship one is a very unique one, especially in today’s society where many males are raised only by their mom without influence from their biological father or any male for some. I was fortunate and blessed to have both parents in my life, but my mom still held a special place in my heart. I remember coming home from school laying across her bed while she watched her taped Young and the Restless episode for the day and her bugging me with her favorite phrase “tell me all your business.” I also remembermy mom constantly telling me that I wasn’t like everyone else and that   “you are different”; Yes there are plenty parents out there that believe that their child is special and the rest of the children pale in comparison to theirs but she truly believed it and because she said it so much I began to believe it as well. There would be things I saw my peers do and get away with as a young child and the minute I tried it, BUSTED!!! I would be the one to get caught. Or there would be a new trend or fashion out in the 90s’ but I was either never the one to get it or by the time I got it, the fad had faded. Being a child often I struggled with the internal battle of wanting to do what everyone else was doing but always hearing my mom say “you are different.”

During my formidable years of growth (high school and college) she was there for me when I didn’t want her input but also whenI needed that reassuring confidence. She was the one who made me go back to playing baseball after I quit my sophomore year, she was the one who said she would kill me if I got an earring, but she was also the one who pushed me when I struggled in some of my business courses (we had the same major so she understood the hardship) and she was there to bail me out when I fell prey to the lure of college credit cards. Even when I tried to avoid it, I always heard her whisper “you are different”

I always told my “ma” thank you and thought I was being appreciative but it wasn’t until we as a family were forced to spend significant time together that I really realized how much I loved and cared for her. My parents purchased a house and decided to do the renovations ourselves, and what was initially thought to be an easy remodeling turned into, renovation hell. Often times my dad served as the slave driver while me and my mom stuck together to outwit the evil LB.  But during the 2.5 years it took to fix-up the house, we had no choice but to speak more and open up which  took me back to those “on the bed” moments.

The biggest growth in my relationship with both my parents took place when I moved to North Carolina, for one they didn’t believe I was moving until they started seeing me pack my belongings. My mom tried her best to keep me in MI even saying that she was worried about the weather with it being hurricane season. Being the good son I delayed my trip and I could tell it soothed her worried heart. Being so far apart allowed us to communicate more because that’s all I had and on a regular basis she would ask “when are you moving home” knowing that I had no intentions to, but she still had to try. She (they) did all they could to make sure my stay in NC was a covered one. We became closer spiritually due to our individual growth in God and being a man who sometimes reverted to childish ways, I had to remind myself when she irritated me, that she was only being that way because she cared

I gave you all that background because yesterday she called me to tell me how proud she was of me. She asked me why I never fell prey to the pitfalls that many of her nephews, sons of friends and black males do… and I simply told her I always remembered her saying to me “you are different” and I kept it to my heart. She happened to be in Atlanta for a funeral this past weekend and the conversations she had made her wonder why I never gave into some of the society lures (tattoos was a big one for her). Beyond having a healthy fear for my parents I just was never followed through with a lot of the things my peers did, trust me, I thought about it numerous times but like I told her I was scared that because I was so different I would be the one to get the skin rash or have things not go as planned, so once I got past that stage of youthful experimentation, it was old and pase’ for me.   

I love who my mom is so much that I searched the earth (well maybe not the earth but the east coast) for someone who made me feel like her and thank God I found her. I told someone this week, that I am like my father in a lot of ways so I KNEW I would need someone with my mother’s spirit to balance me out. 

While I was so blown back by her being proud of me I also must say how proud I am of my mom, there were many things she has dealt with and endured but she always remained strong. While we both are crybabies, I knew when she did break down it was because that issue was something she was passionate about. And while I may not be able to lay on her bed as much as I want, I know she is only a phone call away and the conversations will be just as good, because now I have no problem “telling her all my business” (well sometimes lol).

21 Questions for a Sports Fan

For those who know me and read my blogs know I am a HUGE sports fan so when I came across this on another sports junkie page Ed the Sports Fan who got it from The Smoking Section. Feel free to post it to your blog or your facebook page.

1. Who is your all-time favorite championship team in any sport? 

The 1997 University of Michigan Wolverines.  That Wolverine team stands out because I was right in the midst of the greatness. I attended the Baylor vs. U-M game and after every victory would make that trek from EMU to Ann Arbor to go party at the Elks Lodge. This was before the age of social media and thirst hungry fans looking to be part of the next story, so the players on the team felt comfortable enough coming out to celebrate with the fans. I can remember seeing Marcus Ray and U-M hoop squad members like Maceo Baston in attendance regularly and talk about “hot in herrr” my most infamous moment came during a dance off with my boy. The floor was so sweaty that my rendition of the 90s megamix dances ended me on the floor in front of EVERYONE, but I played it off as well as I could and kept hammer dancing… 

2. What player’s poster did you have on your wall as a child?

Too many, I had a subscription to Sports Illustrated for kids and in every edition they had a pull out poster from Barry Sanders to Ken Griffey. But my two favorite posters were my Bill Laimbeer/Rick Mahorn Bad Boys poster and my Michael Jordan Wheaties poster. Yeah you would think that a super pistons fan wouldn’t have ANYTHING bulls related but I work AND ate hard to get the mini posters that made one big poster. 

3. What’s one NFL team you would get rid of right now? 

Hmm, I would have to say one of the Ohio Teams, I know it has to suck to see double ineptitude so I would spare the state the trouble and get rid of the Browns, at least Bungle fans can say they’ve been to the Super Bowl (even though their ownership SUCKS…)

4. What’s one player you cannot stand in any sport?

Can’t think of one actually… I guess if anything I would have to say Lebron James and that’s more so  frustration out of hate. I can recall him being unstoppable against the Pistons in the playoffs but since that series he has turned timid.

5. What’s one word you would use to describe Kobe Bryant? 

Finisher

6. Finish this sentence: Baseball is ______. 

Undervalued… Not enough people realize the beauty of the sport. It’s the only sport where its an individual team sport, and I wont even get on the level of strategy that goes into as well as being the big money sport. 

7. What’s your favorite sports memory of all time?

One phrase sums it up “and there’s a steal by Bird…” yes it may be weird that my favorite moment involves my team being on the losing end. But it spoke to how great Larry was, and how close my pistons were to a dynasty. It was in the golden age of the NBA where there was talent from top to bottom and they played like men. The series was hard-fought and I can remember thinking as an 8-year-old YES because I just knew the game was over but screaming NOOO in a matter of seconds.  

8. If you could play a sport professionally, what would it be? 

Baseball… For one it’s not the most recognized sport so I could still have a personal life, and they have the longest career out of the major sports and you make the most money. 

9. Will you miss the NBA this season (should there be a non-NBA)?

Yes, I am a sports junkie, any of the major sports being interrupted is a problem, I guess it will give me more time for NBA 2K12 

10. You line up to run the 40-yard dash. What’s your time? 

HA HA… for real… do I have to answer this, maybe a 5.8 but I’d pull up lame at the end and blame my hammy 

11. What is one sports venue you want to visit before you die? 

Fenway Park, The history that comes from that stadium is epic and to be able to take a tour there would be awesome. Most other “special” venues I think I could get to, there is no real reason to go to Boston unless I’m going to the park 

12. Who will win the 2011 World Series? 

I am still having homer moments, so I will ride my Tigers out until they die… (and after that walk-off they may be on life support)

13. What’s the one food that MUST be at a football tailgate?

A Bratwurst… I’m not much of a beer man unless it’s a Corona with lime juice but its something about having a sausage with grilled onions and peppers that says sports event. 

14. How many titles will LeBron James win before he retires?

I’ll say 3; Two with the Heat and one elsewhere 

15. What one player’s jersey is hanging in your closet right now? 

Unlike many, I never gave up my throwbacks, I am a sports fan so it wasn’t about the trend for me. But one of my favorites is my Mike Schmidt Road Phillies jersey.

16. Watch a big game at home or at a sports bar? 

At home so I don’t feel bad throwing things  

17. Will Pacquiao and Mayweather ever fight? 

Not really sure, #moneyteam too busy making r&b videos and fake fighting to worry about PAC MAN 

18. If Peyton Manning’s career is done, does he rank top five or top 10 at quarterback? 

Top 10: While he has been magic behind the center, there still have been more quarterbacks  who have done more and were more impactful to their team. If he could have won that last Super Bowl then he would be knocking on the door but he didn’t 

19. You get 10 shots from the NBA three-point line. How many do you make? 

I am not even going to front I’m deadly from three-point and NOT in a good way so I may get lucky and hit 2. But I did play in the greek games at the Palace of Auburn Hills a couple of years back and the line didn’t seem as far as I thought it would. If I were in better shape I would say 4

20. You get a free trip to any sports Hall Of Fame, which do you choose? 

Well it’s not “technically” a hall of fame but the Negro League Museum… There is so much unknown history in that place that me as a baseball fan would appreciate and plus Kansas City has some great BBQ  

21. Duke basketball or UNC basketball? 

Where is choice C How about the Davidson Wildcats LOL, If I must choose I will say UNC only because of my disdain for duke hoops is so great I even wrote a blog about how much they irk me. Also at least the Tarheels produced one of my favorite Pistons Rasheed Wallace.

This was fun, I may have to come up with part two of this, but not before I figure out how to grill the perfect brat and hit at least one jumper in the park near my job…

Paying it Forward: Greatness

 Recently I had the opportunity to attend a lecture series held at  the University of South Florida where the legendary rapper Lonnie Rashid Lynn, Jr., better known by his stage name Common, spoke about his life and his most recent published memoir, “One Day It’ll All Make Sense”. I have always been a fan of Common as a rapper but officially confirmed the day I heard his song “Retrospect for Life”, featuring Lauren Hill. His willingness to address taboo issues and outward accountability to be morally and spiritually conscious instantly made me a fan. And while I had never been faced with the dilemma of being a father before a husband, I always felt that this song set a MANdate of what should be done.

While a big fan of his music, as with many entertainers, I always tend to be cautious to endorse their ability to be poignant and eloquent in a public forum. From the moment I stepped in the lecture hall there was a certain serendipity in air …an anxious anticipation that I was about to receive something I had been waiting for. I was surrounded by a sea of college age kids, many of which only knew him for being an actor or his most recent musical releases, but nevertheless the turnout was great. As we set and awaited his arrival they showed a few short films of lectures to come… that helped set the tone of the night and then finally an introduction for the speaker of the night. He came out immediately and captivated the audience, it was evident that he was able to carry the same aura in this type environment just as he would if he were about to rock the mic. Being that it was where he developed his own sense of Greatness,  it was no surprise that his introduction to the crowd was a freestyle that incorporated subject matter that members of the USF student body could appreciate.

When the crowd calmed he immediately went in on his speech explaining how he struggled previously on what he would talk about prior to his trip down and that something delivered in his spirit gave him the topic of “greatness” and more specifically how his journey to achieving greatness had been a long conquest with a series of trials and triumphs before he discovered his personal greatness. In an instant I felt like life had frozen in time, why? I guess it goes back to the term I used earlier serendipity. The word serendipity (ser·en·dip·i·ty) means: an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident. You see I had gone to the lecture expecting one thing (to hear Common speak/empower college kids) but the irony was I was about discover a few answers to life questions that I had been struggling with myself. First starting with Common sharing how his third grade teacher instilled in him that he could be great and because of the legacy of the story behind Emmett Till. He referenced a point in his life as a ball boy for the Chicago Bulls that as he travelled in the tunnels to gather the equipment he could feel the spirit of Till (who was a Chicago native), and soon embarked on his life journey to embody that GREATNESS, his teacher spoke of. Coincidentally after struggling to find a shirt to wear that night, I settled on one of my favorite shirts, one that paid homage to Emmett Till.

As he recounted various points in his life during that quest towards greatness, it seemed as if there was always a quote or scripture that allowed him to press through when even he saw no end and wanted to give up. He referenced a poem that many of us know and have heard many times but I think because of the moment it had so much more power

“Our Greatest Fear”

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. 

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson

Interestingly enough I derived the title of this blog from his willingness to share with the crowd what others shared with him. One of my fiance’s favorite theories on life is  “Pay it Forward” (which was made into a great movie) The concept is that you repay a good deed done for you by doing something good for someone else and creating a cycle of reciprocity. But while she was helping me, she also essentially called me out as well. She knows that my biggest fear is that I have the ability to be great but because that greatness causes a stretching and maybe even great discomfort, I stay where I am. So just as she questioned me, I ask you; what is something that you have cowered from that you KNEW you wanted, simply because it took a little more work, or struggle? There is a reason that the most rewarding things are sometimes the most difficult, God has to see how much faith will you have in He and how much of a desire is it for you.

 “God don’t make no mistakes” is a repeated quote from the movie Idlewild that I always take with me and just like He didn’t make no mistake in me seeing the post on Facebook for the event. He didnt make no mistake in making it possible for my fiance to attend even though she was supposed to be at work. He didn’t make no mistake in whispering to me to wear my Emmett Till shirt, and most definitely there was no mistake in the coincidence that the title of Common book is “One Day it’ll all Make Sense” which is also the title of the third CD (those who know me understand the significance of the number 3) which contains my favorite song “Retrospect for life.”  

This perhaps was my wake up call to really begin to seek my own personal GREATNESS and I can thank Common for re-birthing the desire to find it in me and hopefully by you reading this I have done my job in paying forward the encouragement to do what God has called for you to do. Maybe for all of us, one day it’ll all make sense how everything is tied together through the will of the Lord. So I thank Him in advance for the blessings that will manifest!!!

Not made for her to drive…

Its been a while since I posted and I MUST do better… Actually what I have been contemplating is doing a blog series called Silent Road. Over the past couple of years I have been driving to work in silence for the most part (I may listen to sports talk radio if it’s a good topic at hand) and while it initially started as part of my “me with God time” it has just turned into a series of random thoughts that I ponder along the way. While many are not substatial enough for a full individual posts, combined they create a series of scatter-brained thoughts that sometimes make sense. This will start this monday and go until I run out of thoughts LOL. I really wish I had a good dictation application or didnt hate my voice or I would verbalize my thoughts as they happen so it would be easier to blog later about them but I digress…

Many may be wondering why I named this blog Made not to Drive. I came across an email from http://www.change.org, a website that organizes various petitions to help facilitate change in the world. Normally I just delete them without really reading them but this one caught my eye. It was about applying pressure to car maker Subaru to pull out of Saudi Arabia until the women there are given the right to drive… Yeah I said it Saudi women are not allowed to drive vehicles and drive bikes. So you may be wondering how do they get around??? They either have to travel by foot or solicit the services of a male driver who many times makes their travel experience uneventful.
They sought out the help of the Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who initially declined but due to 20,000 signed petitions by change.org supporters, lent her support. So some still may be wondering, yes this is unfortunate but why is Subaru implicated in this? Much of their global target market is female based and its ironic that a car company that sells cars to primarily to women would be manufacturing cars in a country that doesnt allow women to drive. Through the support of “Saudi women for driving” many females are beginning to be defiant of the ban and drive. But without larger support this could be a dangerous endeavor, and one way to support is by signing the petition which in turn will pu pressure on Subaru to either speak out on the women’s behalf or pull their plants completely out of the country.

So to quote the great Dr. Martin Luther King “An injustice anywhere, is an injustice Everywhere” And personally I feel that its imperative for more people to stand up for things they know are wrong/improper and this is my way of showing support.

Below is the link to sign the petition and also the link to Change.org in order to find out more information about the initiative as well as other causes that need our help…

I Support Saudi Women Driving

Change.org Website

ABC story